Acting has been something i’ve been longing to explore for the longest time. School drama kind of don’t really count in my books as real acting, in fact it is very far from the real thing. So thus far, despite having done a couple of performances, i still consider myself a complete amateur. 

Acting’s a complete ARTISTRY on its own.

and i’m kind of afraid i might not do it any justice. i’ve been wanting to seriously attempt it for a while but i was really afraid it would transform me, in which seems very much likely to happen. it seems like something dangerous, but its what i want. don’t want to go into it half-heartedly.

besides its a really good chance to artistically expand myself as much as i can.

SO.. recently i attended a workshop by a renown acting teacher, Philippe Gaulier. And i have to say, as much as i expected a steep learning curve, i didn’t expect the curve to be THAT steep. Philippe is a BRUTAL teacher, so much that he perpetually insults you till you actually deliver. Some of his golden lines during class thus far were:

(speaks to class after a student performs) Do you think she is boring?

I think you are f***ing boring. Please leave the stage immediately.

Your performance was shit. Not like any normal shit, like small shit. It was shit but had no impact. Its like your gay hairdresser’s toy dog’s shit. 

It was a weak performance.. like spaghetti cooked in a pressure cooker for 6 hours. Soggy.

It got so overwhelming that i sort of broke down a little on the third day. He is not the sort that would insult you for the sake of insulting cause there is so much truth in what he says. i couldn’t even pin point what i did wrong or what i’m doing that isn’t good. Until it was brought to my attention that it wasn’t about doing well. Acting is NOT about you doing well, but your ability to display your beauty as an actor. i’m not refering to physical beauty here, but for the lack of a better word… the beauty of your soul. Hes someone genuinely looking for that spark you have and digging it out cause we naturally tend to guard it. i know it all sounds really hippie and floozy right now, but haha i’m deeply serious about what i’m saying tho.

Just to list some of Philippe Gaulier’s previous students are, Sacha Baron Cohen, Emma Thompson, the Hong Kong actor Anthony Wong & many more. All of which i find them to be very creditable, talented actors. 

It was a pretty painful experience in the first few days. It was soul-bearing to say the least and its more discovery than something you can work at. Even if you’ve discovered that special thing that makes you tick as a human, its about how you can allow yourself to revisit that pleasure over & over & over & over again.

Philippe Gaulier has a great eye for talent & for digging out that “gem” in you. And i guess thats the factor that makes his brilliant. He directs the actors very well.

The digging was painful. absolutely painful, but without a doubt i felt a breakthrough in me. this is isn’t just a breakthrough in acting, but a breakthrough in terms of uncovering something about myself. About my soul, about my heart & of course about my skills.

Acting class doesnt seem like training to me, but like a chance to discover or re-discover something about oneself. its not about training to achieve something that you are not, but digging for something beautiful that already exists in you. I’ve gained so much pespective & understanding about myself… which is really important for an artist.

doesn’t matter if you’re an actor or a painter, cause this breakthrough of insight has undoubtably helped me with my thought process & sentiments as an artist, as well as my perception of my performance & songwriting. 

dear friends, if you’re reading this. i strongly encourage you to take up acting lessons cause its really mind-blowing when you learn something new about yourself. its a different experience from taking music lessons or something else. cause acting lessons aids in shaping your personal taste & expression.

Anywho, thanks to Jian Hong from The Theatre Practice for egging me to go for the class. You truly did threw me in the deep end, but i’m just glad i managed to survive it with more knowledge.

Thanks to Zesta, the very cool funky drinking for giving me my liquid energy during those few days. :)